All To Him I Owe

Happy Happy Easter Sunday!

I had every intention of writing really great blog posts this Holy Week. Really, I did.

But as it always does, life kind of got in the way of my good intentions. And suddenly it was Easter Sunday and I still hadn't written an Easter blog.

I had so much to say this week. In this season of reflection on my Lord and the sacrifice he made for me, for us. There is so much on my heart that I wanted to share.

Unfortunately, I find myself completely mentally exhausted on this Easter Sunday and I can't even find the energy to write a thoughtful sentence. Instead, I shall share these song lyrics.

They say it all anyway. The story of how in His death, Jesus paid debts that weren't even His to pay. I am overwhelmed by this kind of love. And this kind of sacrifice. The ultimate sacrifice in death, overcome in resurrection. He died, and now He lives. All so that we could be redeemed. That's crazy love.

I hear the Savior say
Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness watch and pray
Find in me thine all in all

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Lord now indeed I find
Thy power and thine alone
Can change the lepers spots
And melt the heart of stone

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

And when before the throne
I stand in him complete
Jesus died my soul to save
My lips shall still repeat

Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

Oh praise the one who paid my debts
And raised this life up from the dead.

"As for me, I know that my redeemer lives,
And at the last, He will take His stand upon the earth."
~Job 19:25

blessed

meet my cousin. mackenzie.
and casey. mackenzie's sister, ashley's husband. (follow that?)

mackenzie is my youngest cousin. she is in her freshman year at the university of central arkansas. she's on the track team. and she sings. she sings really well.

i forgot this of course. i forgot how pretty her voice was. i forgot how lovely she sounded when she sang at ashley and casey's wedding. i guess, well i guess i just forgot how talented my lil cousin was. and that she's not so lil anymore! (sidenote: ashley and my aunt cyndi also sing quite well themselves. these are some talented ladies!)

while she was home in texas over the holidays, mac sang "my redeemer lives" at her church accompanied by casey on the guitar. she posted it to facebook yesterday and i played it no less than 3 times. it brought tears to my eyes.

although i've heard this song about a million times, there is something so innocently truthful about the words coming from my cousin. i found myself caught up in how powerful and real and hopeful she sounded as she sang.

so simple, so raw, so very uplifting. and such a beautiful reminder that my redeemer does live.





thanks for letting me blog about you mackenzie! :) lots of love!

Home for the Holidays

Christmastime at the Johnson house is a several day affair.

Mostly because Christmas Eve is also my Daddy's birthday. So there's all kinds of celebrating going on.

Christmas Eve morning I woke up to a precious lil 20-month-old singing her ABC's and chattering about Santa and his reindeer. We spent all day playing the day before and she intends to pick up right where we left off. She dances around to Christmas carols and helps us wrap up the last of the presents. "Presents!!!" she says. Over and over and over.

Also, by some strange turn of events, it was snowing in Texas on Christmas Eve. Yes. Snowing. Not sleeting. Not wintery mix. Real snow. It started around noon and came down hard all day long until well after dark. I am baffled by snow in Texas in December. Especially when the day before was about 73 degrees and rainy. Huh?

But even though the snow didn't really stick to the ground until later at night, it didn't stop us from going outside to enjoy it...

"Sloan, what do you do in the snow?"
She sticks out her tongue and turns in circles to catch snowflakes. "Ahhhhhh"
I. Adore. Her.

We spend the day cooking yummy treats for Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Day festivities. We wrap up the last of the presents and even venture out to the grocery store for last minute supplies.

We all pile into the cars for the Candlelight Christmas Eve Service at church. We sing about Jesus and Bethlehem and we're all reminded the true meaning of this holiday.

We spend the night jamming out to Christmas music. Daddy opens his birthday presents. Sloan opens her new basketball goal from Nai Nai and GrandBuddy. She opens her "Hello Hook 'Em" book from Me and Les. "Hook Em" she says. Over and over and over. She almost has more fun with the torn paper than the goal. Her excitement is infectious!

And then the real fun begins. Game night. This year we played Pictionary. Les and I always dominate at Pictionary. I'm not sure why they still take us on. We quickly take the lead against Mom / Dad and Uncle Jay / Susan. They still think we cheat. But it's legit. I swear. We are just that good. The entire game is hilarious, frequently involves raised voices and always guarantees a good time. Dad retraces his drawings while Mom continues to guess blindly. Jay draws squiggly lines that may or may not represent the United States? Me and Les keep it simple. That's the key to success. This year's winner? "Numb." Yep. I drew Numb. And she got it right. You can just call us Pictionary Champions.

And tomorrow, Christmas Day, Mom and Dad will wake us up. Because we never wake up on our own anymore. We'll have some Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee. We'll take our time opening our gifts, excited to surprise each other. And then we'll head over to Aunt Cyndi and Uncle Jeff's house. We'll have lots of (read: too much) delicious food. We'll watch football. We might even have Pictionary round 2. There's nowhere else I'd rather be.

And at the end of these few days, this family celebration of Christmastime, filled with our own traditions. It will not have been about us.

It will have all been about Him and the celebration of His birth. The celebration that God sent His son. Immaculately. Humbly. Unglamourously. To sacrifice himself as our savior. And this is the celebration that I can't wait to be a part of each year.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

¹¹Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. ¹²This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

¹³Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
¹⁴"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

~ Luke 2:11-14

I am Thankful.

So thankful.

I am thankful for my family. A house full of people and laughs and happiness.
I am thankful for my Moms cooking. For her turkey and stuffing and casseroles, oh my!

Thankful that we're all able to spend the day together. Filling up on delicious food, watching football and playing with the kids.

I am thankful for my life in New York. For my sweet roommates, amazing friends and Gallery church. That God has provided a way for me to live in such a fantastic city so far from home.

And I'm thankful that I am able to come back to Texas to spend the holidays with my family. Because there's nothing like being home for the holidays.

Mostly I am so very thankful to the Lord for all the ways that He has blessed my life.

"Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." ~ Colossians 2:7

For Such a Time as This?

This summer I'm doing Beth Moore's Esther Bible Study with a group of girl friends - some new, some old. I've studied Esther before, but Beth brings a whole new Texas-sized dimension to the book. She's intense. And insightful. And pulls out the most real life application nuggets from the Old Testament in ways that I just can't do on my own.

What I'm really loving, is that this study is with a group of girls that I haven't been in Bible study with before. I find myself looking forward to Monday nights because I can't wait to hear their thoughts on the lessons. Each week these women continue to surprise, challenge and encourage me in my faith and I'm so very thankful to have each of them in my life!

This week we discussed the infamously convicting words of Mordecai to Esther -

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

These words are a humbling reminder to me that God is in absolute control in my life. Just as He placed Esther in a position to provide deliverance at the exact moment the Jewish people needed nothing short of a miracle, He has also has placed me at this exact point in my life - for such a time as this. Every aspect of my life, He has planned. Specially for me.

I am 25 years old. I live in New York. I spend each day working really hard at a job that tends to drag me down. I am single. I question my life decisions regularly. I question my future constantly. I get anxious, I always want to know what's next. I want to know that I've accomplished all that I needed to in New York before I leave the city. I want to know that there is a reason for my being here and that He is able to use me for His purpose.

So here I am. Living in New York, working this exact job, surrounded by these very people...for such a time as this. How incredible is that?

As my new friend Danielle so eloquently phrased it this week -
"You know, sometimes it's just about the journey."

It's refreshing to remember that even though I may not see His purpose right now, sometimes it's simply the journey that makes the difference. That maybe this journey is one I needed to take so that years from now I will recognize His greater plan the way that Esther did. So that when everything miraculously falls into place, I'll know.

And so when I find myself wondering what exactly it is that I'm doing here - so far from the comfort of home, at this job, with these people, in New York...who knows? Perhaps it is for such a time as this.

"Even now declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart"...He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity."
Joel 2:12-13

Happy Easter

He is Risen!

¹⁷And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." (Matthew 3:17)

⁴⁵From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. ⁴⁶About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:45-46)

⁵The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. ⁶ He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. (Matthew 28:5-6)


Easter is the story of the most ultimate love. The love that our God has for the world, for us. The love He has for His Son, His Son that He sent to show us love. He condemned His Son, that He loves, to the most horrifying and humiliating death. And Christ painfully died on the cross. Died to prove His love for His Father and to solidify His love for us. The ultimate sacrifice. The ultimate display of love. Crazy love.


In Christ Alone

<sup>In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand</sup>

a lesson in love

We just started a new sermon series at my church called Love and Be Loved.

(In case you don't know, I go to The Gallery Church in Manhattan. It was the first church I visited when I moved to the City and it quickly became my home. But I digress...)

This week's message was about God's irrevocable love for us. For me, this topic seems to be a no-brainer. God loves me and he calls me to love him in return. Right, check, got it.

But when I really think about it, I can't help but be amazed by God's unfaltering love. How can He possibly love me so much when I am...well, when I am so imperfect? When I continuously mess up, let Him down, walk away from Him? None of this makes sense to me.

Of course I have good intentions, of course I mean well. Please, I was raised in a Baptist church, I certainly know how to behave as a "good" Christian. But He doesn't call me to just follow dutifully. He doesn't say, "try to do as I say and the more you try, the more I will love you."

To Him it makes no difference if I'm trying to follow, living as He instructed or if I'm not even listening at all. No matter what I do, he will still love me the same. I don't ever have to doubt it. And that's crazy.

So I am unconditionally loved. But I am also called to love unconditionally. That's the thing about love. It's not just about silent affection, it's about action. Not actions that will make Him love me more, but actions that will show Him how much I really do love Him.

It's a bit convicting, no? This realization that loving isn't really loving without some response. Seems simple enough since we find ways to do it everyday in our other relationships. And it makes me wonder - If I don't ever have to doubt His love for me, does He ever have reason to question my love for Him? He shouldn't have to, my life should show Him.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment"

~Matthew 22:37-38