Today's Tale: So Graceful

So about walking. Apparently after a few weeks in Texas, I'm a bit out of practice.

Walking back from a morning iced coffee run to Whole Foods with Lindsey yesterday morning, the following took place - as if in slow motion...

Mid-conversation with Linds.
One last step to go on a seemingly normal, but really quite tricky, set of concrete stairs.
Complete misstep down the last step.
Immediately hit my knees. Hands following.
No coffee was lost in this tragedy. No sunglasses broken. No wallet dropped.
I'm a pro-faller.

Lindsey: OH! LAUREN!!!
LJ: (from the ground) ummm....shit.
Lindsey: ARE YOU OK?! WHAT HAPPENED?!?
LJ: Ohmygosh. I'm fine. Just...maybe...a little bit bloody.
Lindsey: Oh it's fine! You can't even tell!

Lies, Linds. Lies. But I love you for trying to make it better.

Upon further investigation, it appeared that my knees were in pretty bad shape. Yes, knees. As in, both of them.

This incident was followed by a few hours of meetings and one particularly uncomfortable agency-wide gathering where I stood for 30 minutes, leaning against the closest wall, with stinging knees thinking..."I'm bleeding at this stairwell meeting with everyone in the damn agency standing here..."

Finally, my gashed up knees stopped bleeding. Then I texted mom...

"Today's casualties."


She was not amused. My phone rang immediately for an explanation. Oops.

Later, while sitting next to a co-worker.

He pointed at my knees "Ummm....?"
My response, "Oh yeahhhh, it's terribly embarrassing. I fell walking back from Whole Foods."
Him, "Today?!?"
"Yes, this morning. It hurts."

And then a gchat convo with Les...

LJ: I was going to hit the gym...but miiiight have fallen on the stairs today and messed up my knees pretty bad. So wanna see Horrible Bosses instead?
Les: WHAT? Ohmigosh Lauren...
LJ: Yeaaaaah. I'm so graceful.
Les: You fell down the stairs today and I got a speeding ticket. good day all in all I'd say
LJ: Oh good. We're quite the pair.

I am so cool.
27 years old with gashed up knees...because I fell down the stairs.
They'll be torn up this way for at least another month.
Awesome.