Adventures in Atlantic City

Who: Caroline, Julia, Katy and Me
What: Night out in Atlantic City, New Jersey
Where: Showboat - The Mardi Gras Casino
When: Saturday, 4pm - Sunday, 7am
Why: Caro's 25th Birthday Celebration

3:30pm - All dressed up in colored tights, sparkles and heavy eyeliner. In route to Port Authority (quite possibly my least favorite place in NY), where we catch the bus with the other crazies to AC.

5:00pm - Our bus driver, Andrea, welcomes us to her bus with these friendly warnings:
1. Cell phone usage is a quick way to go from passenger to pedestrian. It's called vibrate people.
2. Should you need to speak with her, do not sneak up quietly and scare the begezes out of her. She has a name, use it.
3. Keep your shoes on. Seriously, we don't need that smell.
4. She's not allowed to drink and drive, so we are not allowed to drink and ride. Deal with it.

6:30pm - "Are we there yet? I can't even think about using that terrible bus bathroom! We're close, right" - Caro

7:15pm - "Wow! Look how great it is! There's the Showboat, it's huge! I'm so excited!" - Caro

7:35pm - AC Casino Bus package = $20 back from ticket price for our gambling enjoyment. "I can't believe they just handed me back a $20 bill, an actual $20 bill!" - Katy

8:00pm - The French Quarter Buffet. Beads! Unlimited Diet Cokes! Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Mac n' Cheese, Biscuits, Shrimp, Crab Legs, Ice Cream Sundaes! The Gumbo Guy loved Caroline. Happy Birthday Strawberry Shortcake! Cheers!

9:30pm - Ohsofull. We're rethinking our skinny belts. The Buffet Hostess: "What are you doing tonight? There's a stripper show at Club Worship, who doesn't like strippers?" (um, thanks?)

10:00pm - High-rolling at the nickel slots, yes! Vodka tonic, check. Boys by the bar, check. Wait, shouldn't three 7's in a row win?!

10:30pm - Katy wins $45 on the penny slots. You'd think it was $300 from the extreme excitement.

11:05pm - Pit stop at the bar to check the one TV in this place. Omg, Omg! The Longhorns beat #1 Oklahoma 73 - 68 in Austin! Yesssss!

12:10am - $20 down. $25.35 voucher in bag. The strippers should be gone, decide to check out the scene at Club Worship. Yikes, this is NOT our scene. Death glares from chubby bachelorette dancing inappropriately for her size, Scantily clad female dancers on spotlit boxes, Aviator Guy thinks he's auditioning for So You Think You Can Dance showing off his "popper" moves, Pocahontas with bandana cloth belly top and fringe boots -

Pocahantas Hooker: "Why are you all wearing black?"
Katy's response: "Why are you dressed like a Native American?"

Yeah, we'll stick with the slots.

1:08am - Did that guy at Club Worship just call us J-Lo butts?

1:30am - I'm up $18 playing Blazing 7's, I can totally get to $20, then I'll stop.

1:57am - $.17 left. Crap. Damn you Blazing 7's.

2:35am - Sitting at the bar, decide on the 3:15am bus back to the city. Does anyone else see that guy with the fur coat and cane? He's a pimp! Hysterical laughter.

3:15am - There is no bus.

3:30am - Still no bus.

3:45am - Katy decides to ask the sketchy people waiting for buses at if any of them are waiting for a bus to Manhattan:

Katy: Are you going to New York?
blank stares.
Katy walks a little further: Do you know which gate the bus to New York comes to?
Sleepy Woman: Usually Gate 10 or 11.
Katy to guy at Gate 10: Are you waiting for the bus to New York?
Guy in Grey Hat at Gate 10: I'm not riding the bus.
Katy walks away.
Guy in Grey Hat at Gate 10: Aren't you going to tell me thank you?

4:00am - Thoughts on going to the Bus Terminal? Yes, worth a shot.

4:10am - At the Bus Terminal - We are officially stuck in this horrible place with these horrible people at 4am and we are never getting home. Why do we leave Manhattan?! Stress and sadness.

Bus attendant: "All the Manhattan buses have been full. You should go to Bally's and try to get the 4:15am bus. Or there's a 4:25am. If you're lucky, you'll get on those."

4:20am - Now at Ballys - "This is an Academy bus, you have Greyhound tickets." "Oh, where's that bus?" "How should I know? Go ask someone inside." Awesome.

4:30am - Oh thank God, the Greyhound to Manhattan. It's full. It's hot. Whyyyy???

5:30am - I think I'm dying.

LJ: I can't breathe! Julia, I can't breathe! I'm suffocating.
J: I know, it's so hot. This bar is radiating heat.
LJ: There are people blocking the aisle and I don't think I can get to the front to ask the driver to turn off the heat. Omg, I'm having a panic attack.
J (yells): Turn off the heat!
Caroline (sleepily gasps from behind): Hot!
J (hops over me and everyone in the aisle to get to the front): Driver! Driver, can you turn off the heat?! It's STIFLING!

6:50am - Despite the cloudy morning and fog, the New York skyline has never looked more welcoming.

7:15am - Finally home. And I have a whole new appreciation for my fluffy bed.

Dear Atlantic City, thank you for your charming lights and enticing games. I don't think I'll be visiting again any time soon. This adventure was enough for me. The end.

and of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROLINE! :)

p.s. My first AC one-nighter was a bit different. See Big Apple Angie and Lulled By The Train to laugh about the first time around.