if there ever was a time...

. . . .that i needed a boyfriend, it would be now. to help me pack up and move out of this 4th floor walk-up apartment.

. . . .that i needed my mom, it would be now. to help me unpack and decide what i need to decorate my new room.

. . . .that i needed a car, it would be now. to run around the city purchasing new things for my new room. without the hassle of hauling said things around on public transportation.

. . . .that i needed my dad, it would be now. to help me hang heavy things on the walls.

. . . .that i needed a massage, it would be now. after moving across town into my new apartment, my entire body aches.

Battle Wounds

So I got in a fight with my standing fan.

It started with a rattling. For awhile, a quick tap to the front knocked everything right back into place and all was well. Until it got hot of course and fan = necessity. That's when the rattling turned to scraping and clanging. Because now that I need my fan for summertime, it's decided to stop functioning. Figures.

I tried everything. Banging. Pulling. Prying. Desperately trying to take it apart and put it back together again in hopes of silencing said clanging. Because that seems logical, no? But it wouldn't budge. It's like the 'lil fan that won't be taken apart.' Grrrr.

After lots of sweating (because there was no fan!) and what felt like hours - but was really probably only 30 minutes later, I finally MacGyvered a way to make the clanging stop, the blades turn and the air cool.

Behold...

Ta-Da! Nothin' a lil stretchy hair tie can't fix! Brilliant. I know!

Ok, ok...so there were casualties. This is what happens when you combine a frustrated / hot / determined girl + scissors and the 'lil fan that won't be taken apart.' Ouch.

I mean, most people would go out and purchase a new fan and enjoy clanging-free cool air. But not me. That'd be too easy. Clearly I'm attached to this fan. Or I'm too lazy to go down to Bed, Bath & Beyond and get a new one. Or maybe it's just in my nature to fix things. Who knows.

But fix I did! Ohsoresourceful if you ask me.

That's why they pay me the big bucks. Oh, wait....

love it!

um, could this be any more perfect for me?!?

i returned from my tour of the south last week to receive this lil surprise gift!

so super cute. and the perfect addition to my cubie decorations.
so thank you, thank you to miss kristen, former new yorker and reestablished texan, for finding this sticker that was ohsoclearly meant for me.
love!

Oh just try to take the Texas outta this girl

Totally cliché, right? Also, completely and totally true.

As mentioned in this freak out, I spent the week in Austin with Kayla, my very best friend from college. I had a few days of work stuff and a few days of playing around ATX. It was really really fantastic.

Sidenote: Boys are cuter in Texas. Fact.

Now let me tell you a lil something about my BFF Kayla. She's such a big kid. She and her husband just bought a house. Y'all. A real house. Filled with big kid things and all kinds of new big kid responsibilities. It's adorable and lovely and just perfect for them. AND I somehow talked them into letting me crash their happily married homeowner lives for almost the entire week. I now have visitor ownership of the guest room on the right - affectionately referred to by Fordy as "the summer room." Dibs!

Here's the thing about best friends, you just kinda pick right up where you left off. And there are conversations like these that remind you why you are such good friends in the first place --

K: Oh you really need to try the new chicken and honey breakfast biscuit at Whataburger.
LJ: Do I?
K: Ohmygosh Lauren, it's amazing. Like, better than Chick-fil-a. And you know how much I love Chick-fil-a...
LJ: A. Lot.

LJ: Umm, can I just point out that I've had about 4 rather large glasses of water and you aren't even through 1 yet?
K: Are you listening to what I'm telling you?!? Clearly I need this beer more than I need that water!

K: I think they're the Nashville Songs.
Mark: Or the Sounds?
K: Ohhhh. Right, Sounds.
LJ: Bahahaha! What kind of mascot is a Song??
K: Like Sounds is better??

K: When you get moment, please check out the way that this woman 2 rows in front of us chews her gum.
LJ: Whoa! Talk about chewing that gum with conviction!

LJ: Wait, which one is that?
K: The old license plate...see NASA, cowboys & horses, moon...I think an oil rig off to the side there. I mean, what else could it need?
LJ: Ahhh. Also, is that a cactus? Cacti, even? It's as big as the horse.
K: See, clearly a Texas license plate.

A few pics from the week --
please note that I stupidly left my camera at home and was totally bummed out. lucky for me, my co-worker / friend Sam let me hold on to hers after she left so I could have pictures of my trip. thank you Sam! life. saver. :)

Walking around Town Lake

6th Street -- Austin, Texas.


Pecan Street Festival -- On 6th Street. Apparently formerly Pecan Street. Who knew?


El Arroyo -- Cinco de Mayo Texas Style. The sign is always my favorite.


Round Rock Express vs. Nashville Sounds -- Special guest player, Rojo Johnson (aka Will Ferrell) on the mound. And he was hilarious.

I didn't even realize how much I needed Texas until I got there.

I love my life in New York. I'm happy here. Very happy. But being in Texas...I don't know...Being in Texas is just refreshing. There's something about driving down a long stretch of highway, radio up, sunglasses on, warm sunshine and slow southern ways, that make me wonder why I ever left at all.

I guess Texas will always have a way of refilling me. Of making me whole. Even though I don't live there anymore and no matter how long I stay away. Texas is more me than New York will ever be. And I needed it last week. I really needed to feel refreshed. Comfortable. Completely and fully me.

And after spending the week there, I also found a lil bit more of my southern accent. Glad to have it back! :)

Deleted Scenes Part 3

A conversation with Mom --

Mom: I found you an apartment in the west village.
LJ: Oh did you? On craigslist?
Mom: Yes, rent was cheap. The only thing was...the person who already lives there says you need to be comfortable with nudity.
(and then she bursts out laughing)
LJ: Thanks Mom. This has been really helpful.


JFK International Airport Security Line --

Security Guard: So I'm standing in the presence of a Goddess.
LJ: Nervous laughter.
Security Guard: Oh come on, you know it. Definitely a heartbreaker...
LJ: Oh...um...well thanks...hah hah...
Security Guard: Southern Belle...You have a nice trip.

Life is Crazy.

My life = chaos.

Ok, I know you have heard this before. But this time I don't even know where to begin. Or how to put everything into words. Sometimes I think that lists help. So lucky for you, I'm sharing the chaos that is my life here. In hopes of finding some sort of comfort in putting it all out there. I'll let you know how it goes.

1) My apartment lease is up.
We're moving. Not 'we' as in, the girls that I've lived with for the past 3-4 years of my life, are finding a new place like we did 2 years ago. No. 'We' as in, 'we' are all going our separate ways. And I'm suddenly really upset about it. More on that later.

2) I am currently homeless.
Unlike the other 2 gals in this 'we' situation, I have NO plans for relocating. I know I'm moving, I have no idea where. Am I stressy? I wasn't until this week. I guess it's the 3 week countdown I'm suddenly up against that's kicked me into gear. Or maybe that I've been too busy to really think about it until this week when I've had a lot of time to myself. While I am confident that it will work out like it always does, I'm suddenly panicking. Because. I'm. Homeless.

3) My office is moving.
Downtown to Tribeca. Starting June 1st. Great. Add a 1 hour unfamiliar crosstown commute to the madness.

4) I am in Texas for a week. And Nashville for the weekend.
For work / play. Which is really fantastic. But definitely not ideal timing since I should be in NYC trying to get my life in order. Why did I think this was a good idea?

5) I miss my sister. And my brother, sis-in-law and cutie niece. So really, I guess I miss my family.
But they are in Dallas. And I have no plans to see them soon. It's weird. I always have plans to see them soon. This is the longest I've gone ever without heading back for a visit. Usually I start to miss them in the spring and book a flight. But this year, that didn't happen. And it's weird.

So that's all I got. Chaos and procrastination. Is there an underlying reason why I haven't proactively been searching for an apartment? Because I'd say a place to live is slightly important to my day to day life. Do I feel better now that everything is documented in writing? Slightly. Am I any closer to getting through the crazy? Not really.

Oh well, it was a good try. Sigh.

21 Questions

Inspired by New York Mag's weekly '21 Questions' column...

Maybe one day they will interview me for real. I mean, a girl can dream, right?

Name: Lauren
Age: 25
Neighborhood: Upper East Side
Occupation: Media Planner Extraordinaire

Who's your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional?
Is it too cliché to say Carrie Bradshaw from Sex & the City? Because she is my favorite. No shame.

What's the best meal you've eaten in New York?
So. Many.
Little Owl? Extra Virgin? Pastis? La Masseria?

In one sentence, what do you actually do all day in your job?
Run from meeting to meeting communicating my professional (read: always correct) opinions on media - usually with important words like synergies, integrated, cohesive - and mastering excel spreadsheets.

Sidenote: according to my sister, "You want to know what she really does at work? She talks to her friends on gchat all day!" Thanks Les.

Would you live here on a $35,000 salary?
Been there, done that. On less. Worth it.

What's the last thing you saw on Broadway?
Jersey Boys! With Mom & Dad.

Do you give money to panhandlers?
I don't.

What's your drink?
Diet Dr. Pepper! Affectionately referred to as DDP.

How often do you prepare your own meals?
Everyday.

What's your favorite medication?
Why is this a question?

What's hanging above your sofa?
A swirly iron mirror.
Caroline and I found it in Brooklyn for $5 and hauled it back to our apartment via the 4 train. Never will I ever attempt something like this again.

How much is too much to spend on a haircut?
$150. Ew.

When's bedtime?
Sometime between 11:30pm and 1:00am. Usually the latter.

Which do you prefer, the old Times Square or the new Times Square?
I didn't know the Old Times Square. But I would probably prefer it. The New Times Square is kind of a touristy disaster.

What do you think of Donald Trump?
Do I need to think something about Donald Trump? He has a lot of money? And a silly TV show?

What do you hate most about living in New York?
(1) Having to walk around in torrential downpour rain. (2) Running late, no trains, no cabs. Misery. (3) Laundry Mats. Enough said.

Who is your mortal enemy?
I don't believe that I have a mortal enemy. Do carbs count?

When's the last time you drove a car?
Hmmm, December I think. When I was in Texas for Christmas. And I didn't drive well. That's for sure.

How has the Wall Street crash affected you?
Has it?

Times , Post, or Daily News?
New York Mag, Daily Intel!

Where do you go to be alone?
The gym. With my iPod. Or running in Central Park.

What makes someone a New Yorker?
A few years, a certain degree of sassiness, more pairs of flats than heels, an affinity for weekend brunching, and when you realize you can't imagine life anywhere else!